"Pets" at Doyle's Café

by Jason Turesky

The first story slam of 2013 was held last Sunday at Doyle’s Café in Jamaica Plain. The pet-themed slam was completely sold-out and proved to be a fantastic way to kick off a new year of storytelling. The host for the night was Robin Maxfield, who got into the spirit of the theme by wearing cat ears, a cat shirt, and a matching cat tail. Robin began the slam by talking about the importance and beauty of storytelling. Her words perfectly encapsulated the reasons why people, including myself love this art form. Storytelling allows us to have insight into human experience. It gives us the opportunity to recognize and appreciate the collective feelings and emotions we share as human beings. In my opinion this is something we forget too often and any chance we have to be reminded is something that should be cherished.

Sacrificial teller, Norah Dooley

Massmouth’s own Norah Dooley was the sacrificial teller for the night. Her story about a calamity her pet horses caused set the tone for a night of fantastic stories.

The first teller was Elizabeta Pohl, who took her pet schnauzer to get an animal blessing at the Arlington St. Church. Elizabeth’s dog began to sing along with the Church’s choir with a melodic bark. At first Elizabeth was embarrassed by the barking but realized it was her dog's way of showing appreciation for the blessing.

Next, Trisha Zembruski told a wonderful story about her dog Rufus. Rufus, who has an affinity for literally eating everything in the house, turned out to be blind. Although Trisha does not believe in mysticism, she does feel a deep connection when she looks into his cataract-afflicted eyes.

Ben Cunningham's fish go "belly up"

Ben Cunningham's story of his attempt to create mutant goldfish with TV radiation won second prize. While staying with his aunt and uncle as child, Ben had nothing else to do but watch TV. As a result, he watched a lot of B monster movies, which lead him to believe that radiation could turn any small creature into a giant mutant. One day, Ben decided to test this belief with three goldfish his uncle had recently bought. He took each goldfish, swiped it across the TV and returned it to the bowl, only to watch it turn belly-side up. His uncle was not happy when he came home to three dead goldfish.

The fourth teller was Kim Baker, who told a hilarious story about the time she chased down her friend's new puppy, Snickers. At the time Kim did not know what the dog's name was and was only able to yell stop like a crazy person as she ran after the runaway dog. Kim believes it was probably a good thing she didn’t know the dog's name. Running down the street screaming Snickers would have made her look crazier, or just really hungry.

Lorraine Grosslight

Lorraine Grosslight's story of turning five and finally being allowed to clean the birdcage did not have a happy ending. The bird flew out of the cage as soon as she opened it. Her mother and housekeeper tried, but could not get the bird back in the cage. Newly empowered, Lorraine decided that she was going to catch the bird. Her housekeeper gently told her later that the bird was probably "just sleeping" under the rug she had used to catch it.

Bruce Marcus' story about how he named his three birds made me hope that he did not name his kids the same way. The first bird, Toejoe, got his name from the clacking sound his nails made when he walked across a room. The next bird lacked any defining personality and was named Bwana, which stands for "bird without a name." The last bird was named Melvin and became known as "Mel from hell."

If you ever need someone to look after your pet, don't ask Melitta King. A friend asked Melitta to look after her turtle Stinky while she was away on business. When Melitta went to feed the turtle, she saw that it was not moving. As she was telling her friend over the phone that Stinky had died, the turtle "miraculously" came back to life and began moving. Melitta has not been asked to look after a pet since.

Ron Goldman

Ron Goldman’s somber story about his dog Honey was awarded Audience Choice. While growing up in South Africa, Ron’s family owned a dog named Honey. Ron was devastated when he had to give Honey away before his family moved to the U.S.  Time went on and Ron asked his mother what had happened to Honey. His mother, who fled Nazi Germany at 15 for South Africa, was no stranger to tragedy and frankly told her son that Honey had run away. It was then that Ron learned why his mother did not like talking about her past. Sometimes it is best not to let those burning feelings inside of us get too hot.

"The worst day to break up with someone is April 1st," was sage advice given by 1st place winner, as well as first time teller, Michael Jones. Michael’s family and friends believed he was playing a practical joke on them when he told them he broke up with his long-term boyfriend on April 1st. The only one that was there for him in his time of need was his dog Frida. As Michael cried and told Frida of the breakup, she jumped on his lap and began licking away his tears. Michael knows that the licking was more likely because he tasted like a salty ham than Frida actually trying to console him. He likes to believe that Frida was not just hungry, but telling him that the tears were not going to last forever. This was also my favorite story of the night. I was surprised that this was Michael’s first time telling a story as he appeared to be a practiced veteran.

Zeba Wunderlich

The last teller of the night was Zeba Wunderlich, who also started her story off with some wise advice. When she was younger, her great aunt told her to make sure the man you marry likes cats. As a cat lover, Zeba took this advice to heart. When she started dating her new boyfriend, Zeba became worried that he would not get along with her cat. After teaching him the basics of playing with a cat, they began to develop a sort of bromance. If Zeba’s boyfriend asks her to marry him, she doesn't have to worry.




All the storytellers did an incredible job, making the first slam of 2013 truly memorable. Lets hope that the rest of 2013 brings us more great stories.

Winners L to R: Ron Goldman, Ben Cunningham, Michael Jones

-----------

Jason Turesky is a 24 year old aspiring radio journalist. He is currently taking journalism classes at Harvard Extension and is interning for Pioneer Institute. Jason has been fascinated by storytelling since he saw Odds Bodkins preform at his summer camp many years ago.

Follow Jason on Twitter @JasonTuresky1.