by Jason Turesky
I walked into Rosebud Bar & Grill, Saturday afternoon with a hangover and a night’s worth of debauchery-induced memories. What better way to experience a “whacked”-themed story slam?
The first teller was David Briola. His story about the mythological acid flashback he had while working in a steel mill was very funny. The image of David playing therapist to an imaginary Minotaur was one of the most memorable moments of the night. Next up was Ruth Ferrick and her story about the moment she stopped believing in God.
Scott Schultz’s story about his first experience with crystal meth and how he taught himself to play the tambourine, won second place. The fateful night was December 26 1989. A good-looking girl had recently given him the meth and convinced him to take it. That night he decided that he was also going to learn how to play the tambourine. It was not long before he was bashing and furiously banging the tambourine on every part of his body to the top hits of day. Scott explained his experience that night as euphoric and had even imagined himself on the cover of Rolling Stone with his tambourine. The next morning Scott was bruised all over his body and his new tambourine lay broken on the floor. “It was the only time I ever messed with a Tambourine,” Scott said.
Raysel Martinez’s story, which he entitled, “confessions of a serial dater,” made me feel like I don’t go on enough dates. I’ll speak for the audience when I say we were all impressed when Raysel said that the month before he moved to Boston, he was going on at least a date a night.
The “whacked” stories kept coming with Yana Sherman’s story about a disgruntled soon-to-be mother-in-law taking the spot light away from the bride the only way she knew how; by dying.
David Eric Finn continued the theme of mortality in his first-prize story about the only time he was ever thanked while on duty as a lifeguard. David watched from his post as a dumb dog chased a group of disgruntled ducks into the water. David ran into the water when he saw that the dog was drowning. He pulled the dog to the shore and awkwardly attempted to perform CPR on the animal. David said that it felt like, “ Trying to blow meat out of a submarine sandwich.” Thankfully, David was able to revive the dog, which licked his hand before walking away.
Robin Maxfield and Mary Hannon, both told “whacked” stories about their mothers. Mary’s story about her mother’s mysterious boyfriend who turned out to be an uninvited houseguest, won her the audience choice award.
Susan Sassone’s story about attending a dinner in her honor, while still being drunk from a party she threw the night before, reminded me to check my own calendar before drinking too much. I wish someone had reminded me to do this Friday night. Finally, Lanandra Russell, a first time teller and massmouth intern, told of a possible drug-induced, hazy premonition she experienced after she had her wisdom teeth removed.
Katie Liesener and Paula Junn did a great job hosting the slam, and told some of their own “whacked” stories. A word of advice: do not let Katie swing a bat near you and do not let Paula watch over your things on a New York subway platform.
Photos courtesy of Elana Kaufman
For photos, video and more events, visit: www.massmouth.com
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Jason Turesky is a 24 year old aspiring radio journalist. He is currently taking journalism classes at Harvard Extension and is interning for Pioneer Institute. Jason has been fascinated by storytelling since he saw Odds Bodkins preform at his summer camp many years ago.
Follow Jason on Twitter @JasonTuresky1.
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